Hostos Community College,A.A. 2008-2011

My first few weeks at Hostos my mom and I started calling it “the socialist republic of Hostos.”

I got my teeth cleaned for the first time in a decade. My son got his teeth cleaned for the first time in his life. I met with a case worker to get my public assistance back. She taught me what to say, what deadlines were coming up, what deadlines were the same year to year. different person helped me get health insurance. I met with a paralegal to help with housing applications. Got a free metro card. Got caught up on all my vaccinations. Got free textbooks. They were letting me use free wifi 7 days a week from 7am to 10pm. Access to a computer and printing and I could bring my son. I got to sit on a couch in the library looking at the sky and read….all the books…whenever I wanted. They gave tickets to hot lunches if you asked. I felt like I had won the lottery. My classes were great challenging and interesting. My classmates were a variety of ages and races and ethnicities and didn’t look at me crazy. My professors were smart and kind. I kept waiting for candid camera to jump out from behind a desk yelling and laughing at me. 

But then didn’t and after a few semester I didn’t start getting the question. But why are you here? Versus a senior school. Versus a different school. READ: versus a BETTER school. 

Why am I here? Because I’m poor! Because I HAVE to be. 

City College, B.A.,M.A. 2011-2014

First day at CCNY. Graduated from with honors and honor and deans lists and scholastic achievements and awards. 

First day at CCNY, first day of a 400 level history class. First day of a history of Latin American course / which I had decided would be my major. 

The professor asks everyone who was a transfer student to raise their hand. Put your hand down if you’re from Lauguardia, she says, put your hand down if you’re from BMCC – keep your hand up if you are from Hostos or BCC. There were 3 of us with our hands up. The professor tells us, “you should all drop – you won’t be able to handle this course.” 

I didn’t drop. I got an A. I took every single class she offered. I asked her to be my mentor in a fellowship program. I asked her to be my first reader for my thesis. If I could prove to her I could handle this course, this institution, this material – then I would show everyone I belong here. 

I didn’t prove it to her. She did not support me in applying to PhD programs. She did support me in finishing my masters and I got a great secure job with those degrees. I got to travel and learn and write and experience in the MA program. 

Why am I here? because I NEED to be. 

Graduate Center, WGSP, 2021-

I work at CUNY, they pay for one class a semester. I work full time as a HEO and then I adjunct to pay for the other 2 classes so I could atleast take 4 classes in a year. I love learning. I love creating. Im so grateful that I get to read and talk and think – this is a privilege. I want to learn and read and talk and produce and teach on repeat. 

After Hostos I got accepted into a variety of schools, Yale, Columbia, Brown – and a bunch of professors thought I was nuts to turn them down. But every single one of those schools had mandatory dorm housing for the first year and guess who wasn’t invited…my son. 

I want to have a legacy of impact on poor people who are constantly asked why are you here? I want to have an answer for them. A go to, a solid one. 

I don’t. 

But today, I’m here…because I can be.